Porgie + Mr Jones, Hawthorn

Melbourne's best scrambled eggs? Mr Jones' scrambles with Holy Goat cheese is certainly a contender, with soft, light folds of "happy" free range eggs dotted with silky chunks of goat's curd. The scrambling technique is so light touch that this dish pushes the boundary between scrambles and omelette. Maybe they should call it a scromelette? Maybe not. Either way, it's a must-try breakfast when you visit Porgie + Mr Jones, 291 Auburn Road, Hawthorn, Tel +61 3 9882 2966.



There has already been much raving about P+MJ (as they like to call themselves), with kate and zoe even proclaiming the place Melbourne's best cafe. I don't know if I'd go that far, but it certainly deserves A-list status. The only weak links I can think of are service and coffee, which are merely good, not great.

Food-wise, they didn't put a foot wrong. The poached eggs were excellent. Ditto the thyme-buttered mushies and smashed avocado. There were loud squeals of protest when I tried to steal a taste of the ham, cheese and tomato croissant off the plate of a 2-year-old. And at $4.90, I very nearly ordered a McPorgie chaser: a toasted english muffin stuffed with gypsy ham and "creamy dreamy" scrambles.

Sweet tooths are also well-served: toasted banana bread with maple syrup marscapone, fresh banana, berry compote and crushed pistachios ($12.90); Carmen's bircher muesli with cinnamon poached pear and honeyed yoghurt ($9.90); toasted Noisette fruit bread ($6); and croissants with Bonne Maman jam ($5.50).

And all served in the buzzy surrounds of a designer, recycled, pseudo-industrial fitout. Like a tiny oasis of Fitzroy in the suburbs.

18/20 "silky scrambles"

Fandango, North Melbourne

Things are changing in North Melbourne. Women can walk up King Street without being groped by Wayne Carey. Children can walk down Arden Street without being offered smack. The Kangaroos are about to relocate to the Gold Coast. And you can now enjoy a very fine breakfast on Errol Street, thanks to the arrival of Fandango, 97 Errol Street, North Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9329 0693. But don't go there on a Monday. It's closed. Open Tues-Sun 7.30am-3pm.



This was, without doubt, one of the most delicious serves of scrambled eggs and bacon I have ever had. The pesto-scrambled eggs were rich and tasty (flecked with little baby chunks of pine nut); the sourdough toast was thick and buttery (with a distinct sour note); and the bacon perfectly crispy (by which I mean crisp, but not to the point of shattering). I also switched the grilled tomato for some fresh, ripe avocado, which was great.

Vegetarians will no doubt be tempted by the poached eggs with beetroot and fetta relish, which you can have with spinach and/or mushrooms. It looked excellent. Or, if you like it sweet, the triple stack of pancakes sounded pretty good, served with banana, strawberries, home-made honeyed cream cheese and maple syrup.

The venue is neither big, nor fancy, but it has a place-to-be buzz and the staff are friendly and efficient. I think there are some tables "out the back", but I didn't get that far. They serve a very good Coffee Supreme brew, too.

18/20 "best scrambled ever?"

Balzari, Carlton

Unless you were sleeping under a rock (or locked up in Guantanamo Bay) during the TomKat wedding, you would know that Tom vowed to provide Katie with "a pan, a comb, perhaps a cat". So you can imagine my reaction when breakfast arrived this morning at Balzari, 130 Lygon Street, Carlton, Tel +61 3 9639 9383. I'd never seen a more impressive pan than the cast iron monster used to serve my baked eggs. Had I gatecrashed a secret Scientology match-making brunch? Is that person reading a copy of Dianetics? Is that Kate Ceberano sitting in the corner? Why is that interstellar space plane hovering outside?



False alarm. It was just a pan... a very hot pan... filled with baked eggs, softened capsicum, Spanish onion, chorizo, tomato and goats cheese (although the menu said fetta). Without doubt the best baked eggs I've ever had (although it must be said that I don't order baked eggs very often).

If you don't fancy baked eggs, don't worry. You have many good options. The eggs benedict was excellent, with a magnificent, sharp hollandaise. There's a Triple Cheese Toasty with grilled cheddar, fontina and fior di latte mozzarella. Or sweeter options like cinnamon fruit toast; Greek donuts with apricot and chocolate ricotta; and house-made toasted muesli with poached berries.



The coffee is great. The service is great. The bentwood chairs are great. Even the freshly squeezed grapefruit juice is great.

In fact, it's hard to think of anything that isn't great about Balzari. It's just a pity they don't do breakfast during the week.

18/20 "best baked eggs"



Eggs & Bacon $11.50 BB100 +15%

Las Chicas, Balaclava

The Las Chicas crowd - 203 Carlisle Street, Balaclava, Tel +61 3 9531 3699 - has turned designer-scruff into high performance art. Do I wear the beaten-up Birkenstocks with my three-quarter cut-off combat pants? Or maybe the cammo thongs show off a bit more of the Portsea tan? Nah... can't mix combat and cammo... better stick with the sandals. And my white Fred Perry polo. Is that gonna clash with your outfit, babe? You're wearing the black Sass n Bide slouch shorts, yeah?



But don't let the cool kids scare you off. This is breakfast paradise. So many good options your head will spin. And we're talking some serious Linda Blair action.

I'll start with what we had. My Baked Bean Brekky came with arguably the best bread I've ever had: two thick slices of warm, soft, pumpkin and polenta bread, topped with a poached egg. On the side was a tasty serve of the house baked beans, and a generous pile of spinach sauteed in butter. Delicious.

We also tried the BBB, aka Bikini Blowout Benedict. A creative Benedict mutation, it was served on bagel toast (which we switched for sourdough multi-grain) with a layer of avocado and crispy bacon. Very good poached eggs and a thick blanket of hollandaise made this another excellent combo.

As for the rest, I don't know where to begin. Here's just a sample: French toast or pancakes with fresh banana, strawberries, pistachio ricotta and maple syrup; brekky bruschetta of scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, spinach and pesto sprinkled with pine nuts; roasted field mushrooms topped with a fresh rocket, goats cheese and roasted tomato salad, drizzled with an olive tapenade and lemon dressing; egg & bacon sandwich with hollandaise and rocket on toasted pide. And on and on it goes.

Not only is the food excellent (and cheap), but the venue is buzzing off the charts. A long skinny layout, the place has a tight combination of small-medium tables snaking past the coffee bar and kitchen, and a dog-friendly courtyard out the back. Skylights running the length of the building create a light, upbeat feel. Good tunes on the CD player too.

18/20 "mmm... pumpkin and polenta bread"



Eggs & Bacon $10.50 BB100 +5%

Bistrot d'Orsay, Melbourne

For years I've assumed that a frog name means pastry for breakfast. Don't get me wrong. I like a good croissant. But it's no match for a nice plate of eggs. And so I've avoided Bistrot d'Orsay, 184 Collins Street, Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9654 6498. Silly me. Their Eggs Benedict is seriously good.



Excellent poached eggs. Warm toasty muffins. Fine slivers of ham. And just the right amount of delicious hollandaise. Why is this so hard for so many others?

The venue is dark, stylish, and well-located in the heart of Collins Street. The service is friendly, professional and swift. And the Genovese coffee is excellent.

Of course, with a frog name, they also do the obligatory croissant and pain au chocolate.

18/20 "Magnifique"

Blue Orange, Bondi

If you're planning to take a dip in the Bondi surf, make sure you do it before having brekky at Blue Orange, 49 Hall Street, Bondi Beach, Tel +61 2 9300 9885. There was no way I was dragging my bloated body onto the beach after such a huge plate of eggs, bacon, snags, mushies and corn bread. The whale rescue team would've been rolling me back to deeper water within minutes.



This place is like a strange blend of beach bungalow and ski lodge, but it works. Pine panelled walls, low corky ceiling, comfy banquettes and windows that open onto the busy Bondi street. Very cool.

But it's the food that really won me over. Tasty scrambles, delicious bacon, two beef bangers, juicy garlic roasted mushrooms and a magnificent slice of home-made corn bread. Throw in great Lavazza coffee, HP sauce and quick service and you're in brekky heaven. No weak links.

18/20 "mmm... corn bread"

Pearl, Richmond

I've never been a big fan of caviar. Little salty explosions just don't do it for me. I think it has something to do with early childhood memories of being dumped in the surf and coming up with a gob full of salt water. But today I took the plunge and ordered the "famous" coddled egg toasty at Pearl, 631-633 Church Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9421 4599. Maybe fish eggs for breakfast ain't so bad, after all?



Luckily for me, the little splodge of Yarra Valley salmon caviar was easily scraped aside, allowing me to regulate the fishiness of the overall experience. And a good experience it was. Encased in a cube of toasty bread (who knows if it was fried or baked, but it sure tasted like fried bread to me), the coddled egg was just right. Perched on top was a second, perfectly domed egg, which must have been "poached" in one of those little concave dishes. Finished off with a crown of bright orange caviar and a few artistic squirts of some beige mayo-like sauce, it was all very pretty.

If there's one thing that stands out at Pearl, it's creativity. Apart from the aforementioned toasty, there's a French toasted chocolate sandwich with runny cream, soft boiled eggs with vegemite soldiers, and roasted wild mushrooms with sage and cheese melt. All good reasons for a repeat visit. I'll also be back to try the sweet corn cakes, which looked excellent (although apparently not as good as European's corn fritters, according to the bloke next door).

In terms of service, Pearl is first rate. Never has my water glass been so assiduously refilled in the course of a meal as it was this morning. Throw in a slick, modern venue, excellent coffee, a wide range of teas, and an impressive virgin mary, and you are pretty much guaranteed a great breakfast. It's a bit more expensive than average, but well worth it.

18/20 "best coddled"

European, Melbourne

After a visit to European, 161 Spring Street, Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9654 0811, even the tossers at Gourmet Traveller Restaurant Guide could see they were in trouble. How to reconcile such magnificent food with moronic review rule #3: "A breakfast menu is often the sign of a compromised restaurant". Get rid of the rule, perhaps? No... with all the credibility of Jessica Simpson commenting on a G8 summit, they blurt it out anyway, then cobble together some feeble exception. People like that don't deserve such fine Eggs Benedict. The best I've ever had.



It wasn't quite perfect, but it came close. The poached eggs were flawless... with deep, dark-yellow, soft-centred yolks (free range of course). The hollandaise was excellent. The muffins were fresh and toasty. And the thin-sliced ham had been grilled just right. The only thing missing was the potato, which, as I've explained before, is very much an optional extra when dining down under.

Other highlights of the menu include scrambled eggs, goats cheese and asparagas on sour dough; huevos madrilenos (baked eggs with black pudding and chorizo); Croque Monsieur (with a gruyere bechamel); and corn cakes with chutney, avocado and sour cream. Or, for a bit more fibre, try the toasted or bircher muesli with stewed apples and rasberries.

To round out the breakfast experience, European has excellent staff, serving very good coffee in a welcoming, wood-panelled environment. Just the place for a breakfast meeting if you happen to be up the Paris end of town... even if it is a tad expensive ($15.50 for my eggs).

18/20 "Best Benedict"