Henrietta's Table, Cambridge

I wonder if the Winklevi ever did brunch at Henrietta's Table? Nice and close to Harvard. World class hash browns. What better place to load up on carbs before a big boat race? Or a big law suit for that matter...

Stardust Diner, New York

Where do budding broadway stars work in between gigs? They wait tables at Ellen's Stardust Diner, 1650 Broadway, Corner of 51st, New York, NY, Tel +1 (212) 956 5151. Which should be fair warning to anyone in search of an above-average breakfast.



My cheese and spinach omelette was fine. But let's not mince words. It was average. Just an omelette, served with some french fries and toast. Nothing to get excited about. Nothing to complain about.

If peace and quiet you crave, however, you will have much to complain about. There is much singing, you see. One by one, the waiters and waitresses take the mike and belt out their favorite hits. Kind of like eating breakfast on the set of American Idol. I just wish Simon Cowell was there to break things up a bit.

Actually, the singing is much better than Idol. What this place really needs is a good dose of Gordon Ramsay. You call that $#it a f#c%ing omelette?

11/20 "breakfast idol"

Highland Kitchen, Somerville

Readers of The Tipping Point will recall the claim that a small bunch of super-influencial East-Village hipster-trendoids started wearing Hush Puppies and, hey presto, they were tranformed into must-wear footwear for the masses. Which begs the question: if the cool kids start eating hush puppies for breakfast, will they trigger the breakfast food fad of 2009? To find out, I urge all foodie fashionistas to get on down to Highland Kitchen, 150 Highland Avenue, Somerville, MA, Tel +1 (617) 625-1131, and order a side of deep-fried pups.



Not everyone agrees with Malcolm Gladwell mind you. Duncan Watts reckons the super-influencer theory is toast, and that mere mortals are just as likely to trigger a fashion epidemic. What matters is whether the world is ready for deep fried corn bread. If the food is right, any idiot could trigger an outbreak. Even me.

So, all you need to decide is what to have with your hush puppies. I couldn't resist the chicken liver omelette. Tasty chicken livers, fried up with chunks of bacon and smothered in real cheddar cheese (not the plastic American cheese you find in diners, etc). A bit too rich and heavy, but very enjoyable nonetheless.

Other options include: smoked trout and bacon hash, or smoked pork hash, each served with 2 fried eggs and collard greens; shrimp and grits with smoked bacon, mushrooms and collard greens; buttermilk pancakes; organic granola; Iggy's plain or chocolate croissants; and, of course, biscuits with sausage gravy.

Most breakfasts are under $10, the coffee and services is good, and the venue has a warm buzz.

15/20 "chicken liver omelette"

Petit Robert Bistro, Boston

It sounded intriguing. A scrambled quiche omelette. It wasn't. It was an omelette with random bits of quiche thrown in, served on a plate so hot I felt the need to request a pair of asbestos gloves. Not impressed with Petit Robert Bistro, 480 Columbus Avenue, Boston (South End) MA, Tel +1 (617) 867 0600.



This really was a sorry excuse for a breakfast. Shove the skanky leftovers of quiche into an overcooked omelette. Garnish with dried parsley sprinkles. Plate up two shriveled halves of potato. Scoop a fistful of limp carrot strips and green beans onto the plate. Et voila! Brunch.

Avoid this place like the plague.

9/20 "scrambled merde"

75 Chestnut, Beacon Hill

The tourists go for a drink at Cheers on Beacon Street. The locals walk an extra 2 blocks across the flat of the hill, to 75 Chestnut Street, Beacon Hill, for a meal at the mysteriously named 75 Chestnut. It's a great spot for dinner. So-so for brunch.

Brookline Lunch, Cambridge

It wasn't in Brookline and it wasn't lunch, but I still managed to enjoy myself at Brookline Lunch, 9 Brookline St, Cambridge, MA, Tel +1 (617) 354-2983. Because they serve a very respectable breakfast, and it's cheap. Sorry... not cheap... inexpensive... affordable. Cheap sounds so... cheap.



I had an omelette with fat chunks of ham, sliced mushroom, cheese and a tasty side of home fries with a bit of veg mixed in. The trouble and strife had the eggs benny and was full of praise. And Mr Smith had an excellent egg and bacon muffin with cheese and crispy bacon. Happy campers all round.

Mokafe, Brussels

The traveler's challenge is to find good, simple, local food without getting ripped off. Usually, you fail. Sometimes you get lucky. Like when I stumbled into Mokafe, Galerie du Roi 9, Bruxelles, Tel +32 2 511 78 70. The food was nothing to get excited about, but it was simple and good. And the place had great buzz.



I had breakfast here twice. First, I tried the croque monsieur, which was just a croque, with a bit of salad on the side. Second, I tried the omelette jambon et fromage, which was just an omelette, with a bit of salad on the side. Maybe I should have gone with the more traditional bread, croissants and assorted viennoiserie, which seemed a popular choice with the locals? But in the relaxed cocoon of Mokafe, I didn't really care.

Actually, the real discovery was Mokafe's rustic dinner fare, like stoemp saucisse. If you like English style bangers and mash, you will love stoemp saucisse. It's basically a creamy mash with some bonus veggies mixed through (spinach in this case), served with a big fat grilled sausage. I'm told you can also get bacon stoemp served with fried eggs, so I'm quite happy to claim it as breakfast food.

Restaurant t VOUTJE, Brugge

I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin. If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn't, so it doesn't.

Ray, In Bruges

After downing several litres of Belgian beer the day before, I was very much in need of my recovery breakfast at 't VOUTJE, Elermarkt 17, Brugge, +32 50 34 50 40. And despite looking a bit like a fried frisbee, this was actually a very good omelette. Must have been the quality ham and cheese. Or the fact that it was fried in real butter. The side of fries went down well, too.



Bruges, in case you have not seen the movie, is either a fairytale medieval town (Harry's view) or a shithole (Ray's view). I am leaning towards Harry's view. It's got quaint old buildings, dinky canals, cobbled streets, and a bell tower with a full time bell ringer. Hard to find a prettier setting to kick back and enjoy a tasty ham and cheese omelette. Or maybe a croque? Or some boiled eggs, fresh bread and cold cuts?

Zaftigs, Brookline

I love a Jewish deli that isn't afraid to sneak a bit of pork onto the menu. So it will come as no surprise that I loved Zaftig's Delicatessen, 335 Hardvard Street, Brookline, MA, Tel +1 (617) 975-0075. But why have eggs benny with Canadian bacon when there's an apple and cheese omelette up for grabs? And no ordinary apple and cheese omelette: a Macintosh apple and Vermont sharp cheddar omelette. Mac & cheese just took on a whole new meaning.



The omelette was very good. But apparently the banana-stuffed French toast in bourbon-vanilla batter with date butter is even better. Or you can have grilled banana nut bread with your date butter if you prefer. Or maybe granola pancakes with date butter? Who cares as long as it's got date butter on it?

With Citysearch ranking Zaftigs as Boston's best breakfast, you can expect to wait a while for a table. But it's worth the wait.

The Paramount, Boston

Two things struck me as particularly un-american about The Paramount, 44 Charles Street, Beacon Hill, Boston, Tel +1 617-720-1152. First, they know how to spell omelette. Second, in this land of super-dooper-service, they offer virtually no service at all. And yet a long line of eager diners snakes up and down the counter where, after about ten minutes shuffling forward, they can place an order, wait for their food, then scurry for a table.



So why do people wait 20 minutes for no service? Because it's cheap. Not normally a word you associate with Beacon Hill. Not only cheap, but good. My triple stack of blueberry pancakes was, as the kids would say, fat. Fluffy, too. All it needed was a generous slurp of maple syrup to juice things up a bit. Only $5.50. Sweeeet.

The coffee was shite. But this is America, so you just have to force it down like a teenager learning to drink beer. Presumably, one day, you just wake up and suddenly it tastes good. Mmmm... what a fine brew this is... top me up girlfriend.

Cheapest of all is the breakfast special of two eggs, toast, home fries and coffee (the shite stuff), for a mere $5.95. A side of turkey sausage will set you back another $4. And most of the omelettes will fill you up for less than $8.

13/20 "self-service"

Charlie's Sandwich Shoppe, Boston

When the menu declares that the "best breakfast in America" is coming your way, expectations are set rather high. So I was very happy not to be disappointed by Charlie's Sandwich Shoppe, 429 Columbus Ave, Boston (South End), Tel +1 617 536 7669. I can't yet confirm the best in the America tag, but I can confirm that Charlie's is a way cool, old school diner...



The omelette was good. But the Turkey Hash is the award-winning dish to go for. Soft, mushy spud, onion and minced turkey, fried into a big fat cake with a nice crispy skin...

Dundas and Faussett, Albert Park

It's all about omelettes and eggs. No eggs, no omelette. And it depends on the quality of the eggs... Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes.

Jose Mourinho explains why footballers are like eggs

Young players are a bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good.

Jose Mourinho explains why footballers are like melons

I think that former Chelsea coach Jose "The Special One" Mourinho may now be working in the kitchen at Dundas & Faussett, 111 Dundas Place, Albert Park, Tel +61 3 9645 5155. Who else would serve omelettes and melons on the same plate? And who else would serve a Portugese omelette?



Technically, I didn't order one of the omelettes. I ordered scrambled eggs. But it was cooked like an omelette, so I'll call it an omelette. I'm also calling the salmon croquette a hash brown, since it was more like a potato patty with a few trace elements of salmon spotted through the mix. And the "chive cream" was light on chive and heavy on dill, so I'll call than a dill cream. It was all OK. But what's with the melon-apple garnish?

Actually, it gets worse. Not content to garnish eggs with fruit, they offer a breakfast blog first: caramelised banana omelette. I dare someone to order than and tell me what it's like. I resisted the temptation.

The omelette frenzy continues with a "farmer's omelette" (potato, bacon, tomato and herbs), a "Portugese omelette" (red peppers, ham, tomato and basil), a goat's cheese omelette and, I kid you not... a prawn omelette. Or, you can design your own. Maybe prawn, banana, bacon and melon?

So, there you have it. Dundas and Faussett. A great place for freaky omelettes. And a great place for Albert Park poseurs to check each other out. Otherwise, not that great.

12/20 "banana omelette"

Tom Phat, Brunswick

Say hello to the Cheap Eats 2007 breakfast dish of the year: the roti omelette at Tom Phat, 184 Sydney Rd, Brunswick, Tel +61 3 9381 2374. A monster dish of twisted roti, grilled bacon and asian-style omelette topped with roasted tomato salsa and fried shallots. A bit annoying to eat - roti is better ripped up in the hand than chopped up with knife and fork - but tasty and very filling.



Tom Phat is fusion food done well: viet eggs fried with chilli soy and spring onion; sri scrambled eggs with spring onion, curry leaves, cherry tomatoes and crispy roti; and uncle ho's breakfast with grilled marinated pork chop, crispy fried egg, tomato, cucumber and rice; and south african fruit toast with cracked wheat, sultanas and poppy seeds. They also have "normal" food, like toasted muesli, corn fritters, and a big breakfast of eggs, bacon, tomato, mushroom, avocado and hollandaise.

Another strong point is the Coffee Supreme coffee. It had a superb, almost caramel-like flavour. It was organic. It was fair trade. And it was brewed up by a dude with a mohawk.

If you prefer your drinks cold and fresh, Tom Phat does a nice line of juices and smoothies with cute names. Pineapple, watermelon and apple is a "fruit tingle". Banana, apple and yohurt is "monkey magic". And watermelon, apple and ginger is "fit and fresh".

17/20 "phat"



Eggs & Bacon $9.90 BB100 -1%

Cathay Pacific CX 263 to Paris

For some strange reason, Cathay decided to add corn to their breakfast spread of omelette, sausage, bacon and tomato. That's different. I also got a croissant, some fruit and a tub of yoghurt. The coffee wasn't great.

Novotel Century, Hong Kong

No, I didn't choke on a kipper. I have been travelling. For a month. With no time for blogging, but plenty of time for eating. Including about a week's worth of hotel omelettes at the Novotel Century in Wan Chai, where the omelette man custom-builds your omelette right there in front of you. A much better option than the scrambled eggs that have been stewing under the salamander for however long. Not perfect omelettes... slightly overcooked and a bit too oiled-up, but quite acceptable. I had mine with ham, cheese and onion.

Ici, Fitzroy

To speak French badly is to parler francais comme une vache espagnole. So I wouldn't be surprised if a Spanish cow had a hand in the business cards at Ici, 359 Napier Street, Fitzroy, Tel +61 3 9417 2274. That would explain why they serve tapas. It may also explain why they call the place a rod ("barre") when I think they mean bar ("bar"). At least they do a tasty omelette, even if it was a bit greasy.

Boathouse, Moonee Ponds

I was standing there one day at the kitchen sink in Moonee Ponds. I was wrist deep in grey water, peas and mutton fat floating in it, I was looking out the kitchen window through chipped aluminium venetian blinds at a yard full of broken toys. And I thought, is this the end? Is this it?

Dame Edna Everage, Former Moonee Ponds Housewife

Moonee Ponds has changed a bit since Dame Edna's day. Now your average Moonee Ponds housewife can spend her weekends power-walking along the banks of the Maribyrnong River, Pink pumping through the iPod, followed by breakfast and a skinny latte at the Boathouse, 7 The Boulevard, Moonee Ponds, Tel +61 3 9375 2456. You could say that Pink is the new Purple Rinse.


Green eggs n ham

If you wake up early enough to beat the 11am cut-off, breakfast at the Boathouse is very good. The green eggs and ham is an interesting re-mix of the classic eggs benedict, with a crumpet base instead of muffins, and topped with a tasty pesto hollandaise and plenty of fresh rocket. I would have preferred a bit of crunch to the crumpet (which was quite soft and soggy), and a bit more poaching for the eggs, but the ham and hollandaise were excellent, and the flavour combo worked really well.

An even better combination of flavours came in the form of a ricotta and spinach omelette with Tasmanian smoked salmon (which was also topped with rocket). One of the best omelettes I've ever had, and I'm normally quite ambivalent about anything with salmon in it.


Tourists can marvel at the gum trees

Other food options include: bircher muesli with grated pear and hazelnuts; French toast with lemon marscapone and baked Granny Smiths; corn cakes with eggplant relish (very tempting); and a wood-fired breakfast pizza with mushrooms, tomato, fried eggs and rocket. Maybe rocket was going cheap at the market yesterday?


Pippin quite liked the deck

The river-side location is a bonus, with plenty of outside tables (and a nice big deck) for you... and your dogs... and your kids... to enjoy the view. What are you waiting for possums?

16/20 "nice omelette"

Wild Flour, Fitzroy

If you're feeling anti-social, it's probably a bad idea to have breakfast at Wild Flour, 422 George Street, Fitzroy, Tel +61 3 9419 1391. You can sit on this communal table. Or you can sit on that communal table. Or you can sit outside (where they have two small tables for two). If, on the other hand, you're on the pull, Wild Flour is a winner. Let's face it, the communal table is a great place to chat up complete strangers. And since no-one expects to be chatted up over breakfast, you can mount a surprise attack.



The first thing you need is a good opening line:

"Please pass the salt" is no good. You'll get salt but no conversation.

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?" is a tiny bit presumptuous. Don't be surprised if you're shot down in two words... "Unfertilized, thanks."

"Is that on your diet?" is an excellent line if you enjoy being kicked in the nuts or stabbed in the eye with a fork.

"You clearly have good taste, is there anything on the menu you'd recommend?" is perfect. Soften them up with some flattery. Then pretend that you care what they have to say.

Actually, opening lines are much less important to the whole flirting process than you might think. According to this BBC story, you should really be tuning into 5 secret sexual signals that someone is flirting with you:

1. they spend a large amount of time looking at your mouth
   
2. they mirror your moves, as in, you sip your latte, they sip their latte, etc
   
3. they flash their eyebrows at you
4. they point their feet at you, not to be confused with kicking you in the nuts
   
5. they blink more than usual, although it doesn't count if you just flicked hollandaise in their eyes

So... what do you say when someone sits next to you on the communal table at Wild Flour, blinking like crazy, staring at your mouth, and says "You clearly have good taste, is there anything on the menu you'd recommend?"



Easy. You recommend the hand made potato cakes topped with poached eggs, spinach and hollandaise sauce. Or the scrambled eggs and bacon on Wildflour toast. Or the white sourdough French toast with grilled figs, whipped cream and maple syrup. Or the omelette with provolone, tomato and basil (although I wish they served it with toast, not bread). Or pretty much anything else on the menu. It all looked good. Very good coffee too (when they remember).

16/20 "communal"



Eggs & Bacon $12.50 BB100 +25%

Marios, Fitzroy

If there's one place that deserves special status as a breakfast institution, it's Marios, 303 Brunswick Street, Fitzroy, Tel +61 3 9417 3343. The first to serve breakfast all day. The benchmark for high quality, smart alec service. The go to place for a Melbourne cafe experience. It's nice to know that despite all that's changed in the last 20-odd years, Marios hasn't. Good eggs and bacon. Good coffee. Excellent service.



Ask me what makes this place so special and the best I can do is quote Dennis Denuto, legendary constitutional lawyer and star of The Castle... "it's just the vibe". Mismatched, multi-coloured lights. A couple of antique black and white tellys stuck to the poster-filled walls. Waist-coated waiters. White linen tables. It's just a great place to be.

The menu covers all the breakfast classics, with eggs, omelettes, beans, bacon, sausages, spinach, mushrooms, tomato, hash browns, avocado and salmon. They also do a respectable eggs benedict or florentine, which comes with bernaise rather than hollandaise. About the only thing missing is pancakes, but you can always make do with french toast.

17/20 "best vibe"