My Dog Cafe, Port Melbourne

With the benefit of hindsight, today might not have been the ideal day for a visit to My Dog Cafe, Station Pier, Port Melbourne. It was blowing a gale. It was raining cats and dogs. And a scary number of Melbourne's Greek community decided it was a nice day to jump off the pier and go for a swim.



But a bit of rain never hurt anyone. And Honey and Pippin weren't to be denied. Where else can you get a dog-a-cino with carob sprinkles and your own seat at the table? Who else serves doggie muffins and petit fours?

There's no doubt about it: My Dog cafe is very dog-friendly. But how do they treat the humans?

My eggs benedict ($14) was so-so, but perfectly edible: the eggs and hollandaise were very runny, the toast a little stale and the ham ungrilled. Nothing to get excited about. A better choice is the scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and dill marscapone, served on sourdough and a bed of rocket. They also do a good job with plain old eggs and bacon ($11), also on sourdough. And our sides of sauteed spinach and mushrooms were both good (although the mushies were very salty).



If you're not into eggs or dog food, you can have sourdough toast with jam ($5), hazelnut & fruit toast ($6.50), or toasted muesli with yoghurt and honey ($8).

All brought to you by one-time fancy chef Andrew Blake and My Dog (part of the Mars food empire). Surely it's only a matter of time before they open a schmackos bar, for pooches who like to party.

12/20 "one for the dogs"

Feedings at Readings, Port Melbourne

You can get all sorts of things from Feedings at Readings, 253 Bay St, Port Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9681 9876. Books, DVDs, music and talking Sebastian dolls. They even have celebrity book launches and stuff. Come here on November 20 and you'll get to meet Bill Grainger as he waxes lyrical about the joys of home cooking. Step 1, get yourself a fancy Poliform kitchen. Step 2, buy a copy of Bill's new book Every Day. Step 3, scramble a few eggs with a gallon of cream and cook. Easy.



I decided to go all healthy this morning, with a big bowl of Bircher muesli, topped with yoghurt and honey, and dusted with cinnamon. I'm no muesli maven, but to my amateur palate this was a magnificent bowl of white sludge. It was almost as good as a plate of eggs.

Although I didn't try the eggs, I did eyeball a nearby plate and they looked OK. You can get poached or scrambled free range eggs with most of the usual extras, including house baked beans, spinach, mushies, bacon, ham, chorizo, etc. They also do Benedict (with ham), Florentine (with spinach) and Atlantic (with smoked salmon and basil pesto).

14/20 "books and bircher"

Cafe Zest, Port Melbourne

Apparently someone bet Dr Seuss $50 that he couldn't write a book using 50 words or less. Green Eggs and Ham won him the bet. I'm almost tempted to bet $50 that I just had the best plate of green eggs and ham Melbourne has to offer. The venue? Cafe Zest, 55 Beach Street, Port Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9646 9182. Nice bayside views, too.



As Mark Twain once wrote: "Nothing helps scenery like ham and eggs... Ham and eggs and scenery... these make happiness." On this score, Zest is a very happy place. The scrambled eggs and seared ham were great, and the pesto gave the dish a real kick.

What Twain forgot to say was: "Nothing helps breakfast like good coffee. Ham, eggs and a double-shot cappucino... these make a perfect breakfast." Zest scores again. The Amici coffee was excellent.

I can only speculate about the rest of the food, having neither viddied nor tasted it. But it all sounds promising: coconut & cinnamon or vanilla chai porridge; lemongrass creamed rice with poached pears; French toast fingers with marscapone and lemon scented apple; hazelnut pancakes with berry compote, strawberries and marscapone; a smoked salmon thingy on sweet corn fritters; and shakshukah (Middle eastern eggs in tomoato sauce, apparently).

16/20 "ham, eggs and scenery"



Eggs & Bacon $10.90 BB100 +9%