Breadwell, Melbourne

The top end of Flinders Lane is where Charlotte meets Miranda. Artsy galleries on one side and fancy law firms on the other. And jammed in the middle is Breadwell, 135 Flinders Lane, Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9650 8544. A stylish little cafe for a mid-week power-breakfast.



The eggs and bacon were good, without being spectacular. Nice crispy bacon and soft poached eggs on two thick slices of white sourdough toast. My only small complaint was the toast-to-egg ration, which was a bit heavy on toast and a bit light on egg.

Merricks General Store, Merricks

This morning, after a speedy dash across the Mornington Peninsula, we made it just in time for scrambled eggs at the Merricks General Store, 3458-3460 Frankston-Flinders Road, Merricks, Tel +61 3 5989 8088. It was like eating breakfast in a Country Road homewares catalogue... distressed timber tables... rustic charm... everything just a little bit too perfect. Quite a nice experience, actually.



Most importantly, the food was good. My Merricks Breakfast included a big, steaming pile of scrambles, some nicely grilled bangers and bacon, tasty mushrooms and a generous heap of wilted spinach (instead of tomato). Her Fussiness has some perfectly poached free range eggs with spinach and smoked salmon. No complaints at all, which is quite a rare event. Actually, there was one small complaint about the tea, but she always does that.

MGS (as they call it) caters equally well to old and young. Kids can get rice bubbles, coco pops or nutella on toast (and paper and crayons to unleash their inner Picaso). Adults can wash down a double egg and bacon roll with a few glasses of Rigel Shiraz (from the owners' vineyard and on tasting in store). They also do a nice range of house jams which you can try (on croissants) or buy (to take away).

16/20 "country chic"



Eggs & Bacon $13.50 BB100 +35%

Bluecorn, St Kilda

For some reason, every corn tortilla I've had in Australia looks and tastes like an oversized mutant corn chip (crunchy, brittle and u-shaped). You can get soft flour tortillas. But soft corn tortillas are as elusive as drop-bears. And, as I discovered this morning, you can't even get proper blue corn tortillas at Bluecorn, 205 Barkly Street, St Kilda, Tel +61 3 9534 5996. Very disappointment. It's not like they're hard to make.



Luckily, when I grumbled about the crunchy, greasy corn "tortillas" they were quick to switch them for nice soft flour tortillas, so I could get on with enjoying my Sizzling Breakfast Fajita. Basically, you shovel stuff off your cast iron hot plate and onto each tortilla, add some sour cream and guacamole, roll it up and eat. Ingredients include scrambled eggs, bacon, chorizo, corn, red peppers, black beans, mushrooms, spinach, tomato and pine nuts. Very tasty and very filling.

The real problem is that once you've had Mexican food in California (and presumably Mexico, but my first hand experience doesn't extend that far), everything you get in Australia is second rate. Comparing Bluecorn with, say, La Taqueria is like comparing Salma Hayek with a Chihuahua. They're not really in the same league.

On a positive note, Bluecorn does seem to cater well to veggies, vegans and anyone trying to avoid lactose or gluten, and the menu is far from boring. Choices include: tortillas; waffles; fruit bread French toast; porridge with Cuban banana and lime jam; and poached eggs with creamed spinach and grilled ocean trout. They do a decent Genovese coffee, too.

12/20 "fajita"



Eggs & Bacon $11.00 BB100 +10%

On The Corner Espresso, Prahran

Well I guess it all started the first time I went through the second grade. I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking "wow, you're ridiculously good looking, maybe you could do that for a career."

Next time Derek Zoolander comes to Melbourne I feel sure he'll be spotted having an Orange Mocha Frappuccino at On The Corner Espresso, 160 Greville St, Prahran, Tel +61 3 9533 8888. It's the perfect spot to check out all the other ridiculously good-looking people prancing up and down Greville Street. Or, you can stare at your spoon, admire your own really, really good looks, and practise Blue Steel.



If your diet permits, I can highly recommend the corn fritters. Three tasty fritters with plenty of corn and a touch of spice, served with just-crispy bacon, a generous amount of tomato-avocado salsa, a side of chili jam, and topped with fresh rocket.

Other tempting items include vanilla porridge with caramelised apples; "village style" baked beans; a Breaky Wrap filled with omelette, potato, cheese, chorizo and tomato chutney; and ham & eggs served with sweet paprika, sea salt, cracked pepper and toasted honey whole-wheat soldiers.

But what vain, stupid, and incredibly self-centered male model could turn down a BABE... bacon, avocado, poached egg with a touch of soy mayo on a toasted bagel?

16/20 "nice salsa"



Eggs & Bacon $11.40 BB100 +14%

Otis, Albert Park

On a nice day, you could do worse than to grab an outside table at Otis, 123-125 Bridport St, Albert Park. You can bring the dog. The service is very good. And it's not all cramped and crowded like the rest of Bridport Street.



I had a very pretty serve of corn fritters with tomato salsa and avocado, to which I added a side of crispy bacon. The flavours were great, but the fritter was quite heavy and greasy.

Her Fussiness had poached eggs with salmon and spinach and was happy enough but for one rather solid egg and some unbuttered toast. The house-cured salmon was very good. Much fresher and firmer than average.

Otis also serves gluten free muesli, and a rather strange-sounding "brunch plate" with scrambled eggs, bacon, salmon, toasts, cheese, fruit, dips and herb salad.

16/20 "house cured salmon"



Eggs & Bacon $11.50 BB100 +15%

Mart 130, Middle Park

It was stars galore this morning at Mart 130, 107a Canterbury Rd, Middle Park, Tel +61 3 9690 8831. First, we snare a table right next door to Slashie-award winning model-slash-author Tara Moss, who seemed to be enjoying her scrambled eggs. Then, as we're leaving, who should roll up in his groovy black Jag but Academy-award winning animator, Adam Elliot, aka Harvey Krumpet. This place is paparazzi paradise. Great for breakfast, too.



Days after I dish out my best corn fritters award, along comes Mart 130 to make me look stupid. Yes, that's right. This morning's corn fritters were definitely equal to, and probably a whisker better than those at Replete Providore. And that's quite a feat. I think it was the quality of the corn that did it. Fresh from the cob, and noticeably so. Plump, juicy, tasty little kernels, bound together in a fritter stack, with bacon, relish and sour cream. As Richie Benaud would say... Marvellous.

Not only is the food good, but it's cheap. House made baked beans with ham hock on sourdough toast (excellent toast, by the way), under $9. Poached free range eggs with asparagas, mushrooms, hollandaise and chives, under $10. Mart granola or bircher muesli, under $7. Or Pancakes with berries and lemon yoghurt, under $10.

And then there's the venue. If Bills is Sydney, then Mart is Melbourne. It's hidden away so you can't find it (at least, not without a few pointers from someone in the know). It's not a rip-off. And it doubles as a tram stop. Ding ding. Grab a spot on the back deck and soak up the Albert Park views... Marvellous.

Rounding out a star performance, the Mart team was very friendly, with great attention to detail. Good coffee (Genovese) and OJ too. My only small gripe was the portion size. My serve of scrambles and beans was a tad skimpy.

19/20 "breakfast star"



Eggs & Bacon $9.90 BB100 -1%

Cafe Rosamond, Collingwood

It's a wonder anyone ever eats at Cafe Rosamond, rear end of 191 Smith Street (enter from Charles Street), Collingwood, Tel +61 3 9419 2270. First, you have to find the place, which is no small challenge given the lack of signage. Then, there's a giant killer tape-worm wall mural designed to scare you off. And finally, a less-than-welcoming staff do their best to make you feel like an intruder.



But if you make it past these defensive measures, the breakfast ain't half bad. I had a very good serve of scrambled "Kangaroo Island Free Range" eggs, which were just soft and very lightly flecked with chives. The side of house-made baked beans was also very good, served on crunchy sourdough toast with a few crumbles of fetta. The weak links were the bacon, which was OK, but under-grilled, and the lack of condiments. If you decide to take the low-service road (which Rosamond does, with no table orders and almost no table service), then maybe you should stick a bottle of HP on every table. I'm not about to go schlepping across the room begging for sauce once the food has arrived.

Maybe I was unlucky, but my experience was a million miles from Matt Preston's claim that Rosamond is "welcoming and unpretentious". The venue may be "old Fitzroy" and the furniture the spoils of a big night of dumpster-diving, but I found the place both unfriendly and quite pretentious. Too much contrived quirkiness. A poseur in vintage gear is still a poseur.



The menu stretches from classic cafe to retro. There's a touch of 70's tuck shop thanks to hot jaffles filled with spaghetti and cheese, banana and nutella, or bacon and banana. There's cinnamon toast, muesli, porridge and croissants. Or for something more exotic-sounding, there's baked eggs with chorizo, corriander and broad beans, or with asparagas, spinach and "special sauce". Mysterious.

I save my final comment for the coffee. Once again, where Mr Preston's coffee was particularly good, mine was particularly average. And since we're talking Genovese (normally excellent), and the coffee-guy is said to have worked at Genovese for 7 years, it's all the more surprising that my cappucino was over-filled, under-frothed, and borderline weak. How embarrassment.

11/20 "banana and nutella jaffles"

Bistrot d'Orsay, Melbourne

For years I've assumed that a frog name means pastry for breakfast. Don't get me wrong. I like a good croissant. But it's no match for a nice plate of eggs. And so I've avoided Bistrot d'Orsay, 184 Collins Street, Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9654 6498. Silly me. Their Eggs Benedict is seriously good.



Excellent poached eggs. Warm toasty muffins. Fine slivers of ham. And just the right amount of delicious hollandaise. Why is this so hard for so many others?

The venue is dark, stylish, and well-located in the heart of Collins Street. The service is friendly, professional and swift. And the Genovese coffee is excellent.

Of course, with a frog name, they also do the obligatory croissant and pain au chocolate.

18/20 "Magnifique"