Bills Scrambled Eggs Really Are That Good

Some things are over-hyped. Like Facebook. Kylie's bum. And the Toyota Prius. But Bills scrambled eggs really are the best you will ever have. Anywhere. In the world. Or the Galaxy. Or the entire Universe. So silky. So light. So creamy. So good.



At one point, Mr Bills himself came flouncing through the restaurant, and I was almost tempted to bow down and indenture myself as his life-long slave. But then I tasted the crappy bacon. How can such fine eggs be served with such pathetic, soggy little parcels of bacon? Shame, shame, shame...

Surry Bills

Actually, it's called "bills Surry Hills", 359 Crown Street, Surry Hills, +61 2 9360 4762. The 2nd of the bills franchise, or empire, or whatever you want to call it. Here you'll find the signature creamy scrambled eggs, corn fritters with bacon, and ricotta hotcakes with honeycomb butter and banana. So this morning I decided to see if the hotcakes taste as good as they look...



The verdict? Very good. Nice fat hotcakes with the odd lump of ricotta sealed inside. A couple of discs of honeycomb-speckled butter, which added grease but not alot of honey flavour. And some sliced up, bruised banana, which is forgivable given Australia's Cyclone-Larry-induced banana crisis.

Bills Reloaded

Last time I accused Bills of being a two trick pony. Great scrambles, great hotcakes, and not much else. I stand corrected. I am upgrading this particular pony to three, and possibly four tricks. The corn fritters are also very good (although not as good as Replete), and it looks like the bircher muesli deserves high praise too. But that's it. Bad luck if you want something exotic, like, hmmm... poached eggs. Sorry, we don't do those.



This morning's brekky was made all the more exciting by the presence of Agent Smith, right across the communal table from us. Yes, Bill's lived up to its star-spotting credentials, and I am now able to say that I had breakfast with Hugo Weaving (we shared a table, after all). I kept hoping Trinity would join us, but the damned agent scared her off.

Bills, Darlinghurst

There are plenty of people who rate Bills, 433 Liverpool Street, Darlinghurst, Tel +61 2 9360 9631, as Sydney's best breakfast. Indeed, Bill Grainger is quite the Jamie Oliver. He has a string of cookbooks to his name (including one called "Sydney Food") and is now a fully-fledged celebrity chef (and media tart). But like Sydney, Bills is a bit of a two-trick pony. Spectacular harbour... sublime scrambled eggs. Fantastic beaches... fat and fluffy hotcakes. But then what?



In the case of my breakfast, disappointment, I'm afraid to say. The bacon was very average, the mushrooms were bland and boring, and the toast ought to have been served with safety goggles. Chipping bits off carried high risks. I almost took out an eye with a stray shard of organic spelt.

Don't get me wrong. The scrambles were light, creamy, and up there with the very best. And, although I didn't taste them, the ricotta hotcakes, served with fresh banana and honeycomb butter, looked truly rave-worthy. But you can't afford to have weak links, and Bills does.

Actually, judging by the steady stream of people waiting for tables (or waiting for a spot on the very large communal table), you can afford to have weak links. Maybe they come here to see and be seen? I spotted at least two celebrity imposters in just one sitting (one Paris-clone, one Moby-clone). Who knows who I'll be dining with next time?

15/20 "sublime scrambled"