Golder Pear Cafe, Southampton

Nothing says you are home in the Hamptons more than standing in line at the Golden Pear

Alec Baldwin, F.A.G., budding politician, parenting role model

Hampton Coffee Co, The Hamptons

You wear clothes, so it's not breakfast. And you're not that hungry yet, so it's not lunch. It's the meal that won't commit.

Mystery Hamptons golfer comments on brunch

So, you're on your way to Shinnecock Hills, it's not quite lunch time, but you need a few extra carbs to power through 18 holes. Brunch is for pussies. What do you do? Easy. Grab yourself an egg and bacon sandwich at the Hampton Coffee Company, 869 Montauk Highway, Water Mill, New York, Tel +1 (631) 726-2633. Crispy bacon. Just the right amount of ooze from the egg. And a brioche bun as soft and fat as your worst bunker shot. Washed down with a freshly roasted house brew, it's the perfect pre-game pick-me-up.



Unfortunately I was on my way home from Poxabogue, rather than on my way to Shinnecock Hills, but the same principles apply. Sort of.

A Butler's Manor, Southampton

Greenwich, CT, may be the hedge fund capital of the world. But a short ferry-ride, and a quick spin in the Ferrari, and you're in the hedge capital of the world, otherwise known as Southampton. Great, long, neatly trimmed hedges, as far as the eye can see. Like a big green blanket, keeping your 11 room beach shack protected from prying eyes. But what about the rest us? Whither the Jitney class? Those forced to scrape out an existence on the wrong side of the hedge. Is a Hamptons holiday out of reach? Is there a life for us South of Route 27? Well yes, as it turns out. A very pleasant life at A Butler's Manor, 244 North Main Street, Southampton, NY, Tel +1 (631) 283-8550. And a very good breakfast, too.



It's a B+B, of course, so if you want the breakfast you need to buy a bed. But you won't be disappointed. Over three mornings, my favorite was an egg strata, which is an egg pie concoction, blending cubes of sourdough, chunks of ham, cheese, eggs, some veggies and a crusty cornflake topping. Baked to perfection by Kim and served with the touch of a seasoned butler by Chris. Very civilized.

This was the first time I'd had egg strata, and it was a welcome discovery. Who knew you could successfully combine eggs and cornflakes in one dish? And just when I thought I'd heard it all, another breakfast discovery lands in my lap. That same day, while chit-chatting over post-wedding drinks and nibbles (including mini-croque monsieurs, to my great delight), I'm asked if I've ever had scrapple. Scrapple? Never heard of it. Until now. But I'm already planning a trip to Pennsylvania to rectify this oversight. How can I resist the lure of a fried slice of pork mush topped with a couple of eggs? Let no part of the pig go to waste.

The only twist with breakfast at Butler's is that everyone dines together and everyone eats the dish du jour. This can be a good thing, since it eliminates the stress of choosing, and you can meet and talk to strangers whether they like it or not. But don't worry. Those with special food or social needs can always request special treatment. The hosts are very accomodating.

Clio, Boston

I was half expecting hollandaise foam when I sat down for breakfast at Clio, 370 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston, MA, Tel +1 (617) 536-7200. A quick flick through the Clio photo gallery reveals that Ken Oringer is quite the foam fan-boy. A trick he picked up from the godfather of foam, Ferran Adria, no doubt. But my farm eggs were foam-free, and smothered instead with a generous amount of Piment d’Espelette hollandaise. Spicy.



As innovations go, it worked quite well. A little touch of the Basque Country and a little extra kick. All perched on a bed of ham and sweet potato hash. Very nice. And at $17, so it should be.

More frugal options include old fashioned Irish oatmeal with "red & gold" raisins and brown sugar (a mere $8), or French toast with berry compote ($11). They also serve waffles, a couple of omelettes, and fancy-sounding crispy galettes of organic grains and banana with French salted butter and Vermont maple syrup. French salted butter? I thought the French preferred their butter sans salt?

For a power-breakfast venue, service was a little slow and clueless. But at least they won't be in your face while you discuss the finer points of the deal.

Qantas Flight QF 93, Trans-Pacific

Mmmmm... airplane food. After a dozen hours crammed in like a sardine, I was looking forward to any breakfast. Even this. And despite looking rather sad, it was quite edible, if a little difficult to eat. You just need to take turns using your elbows. And carefully time each forkful of scrambled egg so that it makes the journey to your mouth without incident. Turbulence is a bitch.

Porgie + Mr Jones, Hawthorn

Melbourne's best scrambled eggs? Mr Jones' scrambles with Holy Goat cheese is certainly a contender, with soft, light folds of "happy" free range eggs dotted with silky chunks of goat's curd. The scrambling technique is so light touch that this dish pushes the boundary between scrambles and omelette. Maybe they should call it a scromelette? Maybe not. Either way, it's a must-try breakfast when you visit Porgie + Mr Jones, 291 Auburn Road, Hawthorn, Tel +61 3 9882 2966.



There has already been much raving about P+MJ (as they like to call themselves), with kate and zoe even proclaiming the place Melbourne's best cafe. I don't know if I'd go that far, but it certainly deserves A-list status. The only weak links I can think of are service and coffee, which are merely good, not great.

Food-wise, they didn't put a foot wrong. The poached eggs were excellent. Ditto the thyme-buttered mushies and smashed avocado. There were loud squeals of protest when I tried to steal a taste of the ham, cheese and tomato croissant off the plate of a 2-year-old. And at $4.90, I very nearly ordered a McPorgie chaser: a toasted english muffin stuffed with gypsy ham and "creamy dreamy" scrambles.

Sweet tooths are also well-served: toasted banana bread with maple syrup marscapone, fresh banana, berry compote and crushed pistachios ($12.90); Carmen's bircher muesli with cinnamon poached pear and honeyed yoghurt ($9.90); toasted Noisette fruit bread ($6); and croissants with Bonne Maman jam ($5.50).

And all served in the buzzy surrounds of a designer, recycled, pseudo-industrial fitout. Like a tiny oasis of Fitzroy in the suburbs.

18/20 "silky scrambles"

Blond Coffee, Angaston

After three hours of wine tasting, some excellent St Hallett shiraz, quite a few nips of port, not much spitting and too much swallowing, I could feel the dreaded day-drinker's hangover creeping up on me. I had to take defensive measures. I needed to pull out the big guns. I needed eggs benedict. But it was 2:30pm in the Barossa Valley. And all-day breakfast is a big city thing. Or so I thought. Until we stumbled upon Blond Coffee, 60 Murray Street, Angaston, South Australia, Tel +61 8 8564 3444. They served eggs benny till 3 pm. I was saved.



And a very respectable eggs benny it was, too. The free-range eggs had a great deep yellow colour and were poached to perfection. The ham was tasty. The hollandaise was good (but needed more zing). And there was a nice little splodge of sauteed spinach on the side.

The eggs and bacon sandwich was, according to Ron, equally impressive (and I know better than to argue with the in-laws). Two super-thick slabs of white bread, stuffed with scrambled egg, bacon (from local Barossa butcher Schultz's), cheese and tomato, all squished down in a sandwich press and toasted golden brown.

Despite the name, the staff at Blond are not all blondes, although there was a very high concentration of attractive young women. And friendly young women, too. When I asked for a sample of the bircher muesli, they even when to the trouble of garnishing it with a touch of yoghurt and a drizzle of honey.

16/20 "barossa benedict"

Cafe Juves, Bundoora

For a bargain breakfast, go to Bundoora...

Two Fingers, Melbourne

Almost French, Richmond

A baguette is very French. A scrambled egg and bacon roll is not very French. So I guess it makes sense to describe a scrambled egg and bacon baguette as almost French. And it was an obvious choice for breakfast at Almost French, 138 Swan Street, Richmond, Tel +61 3 9429 2080. Très très yummy.



The quality of the baguette made all the difference to this take-away breakfast. Light and crispy on the outside. Soft, fresh and ever so slightly chewy on the inside. And stuffed with scrambled eggs and a generous amount of crispy bacon through a slit along the spine. I was a little concerned that their re-heating technique might ruin everything (part microwave, part toaster-oven), but it worked just fine.

More bakery than cafe, there are, nonetheless, a handful of small cafe tables for dining in, from which you can admire the handiwork of local celebrity Mirka Mora. You might even get a chance to admire Mirka herself. She popped in for some bread while I was there.