Saturday, February 10, 2007

Wild Flour, Fitzroy

If you're feeling anti-social, it's probably a bad idea to have breakfast at Wild Flour, 422 George Street, Fitzroy, Tel +61 3 9419 1391. You can sit on this communal table. Or you can sit on that communal table. Or you can sit outside (where they have two small tables for two). If, on the other hand, you're on the pull, Wild Flour is a winner. Let's face it, the communal table is a great place to chat up complete strangers. And since no-one expects to be chatted up over breakfast, you can mount a surprise attack.


The first thing you need is a good opening line:

"Please pass the salt" is no good. You'll get salt but no conversation.

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?" is a tiny bit presumptuous. Don't be surprised if you're shot down in two words... "Unfertilized, thanks."

"Is that on your diet?" is an excellent line if you enjoy being kicked in the nuts or stabbed in the eye with a fork.

"You clearly have good taste, is there anything on the menu you'd recommend?" is perfect. Soften them up with some flattery. Then pretend that you care what they have to say.

Actually, opening lines are much less important to the whole flirting process than you might think. According to this BBC story, you should really be tuning into 5 secret sexual signals that someone is flirting with you:
  1. they spend a large amount of time looking at your mouth
  2. they mirror your moves, as in, you sip your latte, they sip their latte, etc
  3. they flash their eyebrows at you
  4. they point their feet at you, not to be confused with kicking you in the nuts
  5. they blink more than usual, although it doesn't count if you just flicked hollandaise in their eyes
So... what do you say when someone sits next to you on the communal table at Wild Flour, blinking like crazy, staring at your mouth, and says "You clearly have good taste, is there anything on the menu you'd recommend?"

Easy. You recommend the hand made potato cakes topped with poached eggs, spinach and hollandaise sauce. Or the scrambled eggs and bacon on Wildflour toast. Or the white sourdough French toast with grilled figs, whipped cream and maple syrup. Or the omelette with provolone, tomato and basil (although I wish they served it with toast, not bread). Or pretty much anything else on the menu. It all looked good. Very good coffee too (when they remember).

16/20 "communal"

Eggs & Bacon $12.50 BB100 +25%

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Blogger Brooke - Little Miss Moi said...

Dear Jamie. I am very surprised that no-one has posted a comment about the communal table pick up tips. I did think it was very funny and I liked it. I guess there's no more to be said! Happy breakfasting.

16/2/07 00:54  
Blogger Jamie Wodetzki said...

I dare someone to use one of those lines and then report back on the outcome...

21/2/07 22:51  
Blogger Lily said...

Particularly funny given I am in London. There are a number of these communal breakfast tables in the city, but if you were to attempt friendly conversation with a stranger you'd be met with an embarrassed and confused glance that says, 'why do I always get the Australian?'

22/2/07 01:29  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I enjoyed my hand made potato cakes topped with poached eggs, spinach and hollandaise sauce a few weeks after Jamie, which was just as well as they subsequently closed down the cafe to concentrate on the bakery and then they moved out all together.

Now "minlokal" has moved in, apparently with some sort of cross pollinated relationship with NewYorkTomato in North Richmond. Definitely worth checking out when in Fitzroy, and the communal tables remain!

12/4/08 18:42  

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