Liar Liar, Hawthorn

I don't normally like sweet things, but...

Apte, Alphington

I'm not sure I can call it the perfect breakfast, but this morning I had my first 20/20 experience at Apte, 538-540 Heidleberg Road, Alphington, Tel +61 3 9482 2991. Excellent eggs. Equally great extras. Fantastic fritters. Schmick venue. Smooth service. No mistakes. Schwing!



Perfection, I fear, is an elusive beast. Jessica Alba may be 2007's sexiest, but is she the perfect woman? Derek Zoolander may have been born with perfect bone structure, but is he the perfect man? Robert Parker may have scored the 1986 Romanee Conti Montrachet 100 points, but is it the perfect wine? No, no and no.

So please don't get hung up on the whole perfect score thing. Just enjoy a truly delicious corn, pea and feta fritter, drizzled with dill-infused sour cream and topped with a mountain of Tasmania's finest smoked salmon (and some nice, ripe avocado). Or tuck into a beautifully balanced big breakfast, with eggs, bangers, bacon and house-made relish, plus mushies, spinach, tomato and organic toast. Or go sweet with toasted, house made banana and coconut bread (with honey labna, pistachios and roasted seasonal fruit). Yum, yum and yum.

20/20 "almost perfect"



Eggs & Bacon $10.40 BB100 +4%

Las Chicas, Balaclava

The Las Chicas crowd - 203 Carlisle Street, Balaclava, Tel +61 3 9531 3699 - has turned designer-scruff into high performance art. Do I wear the beaten-up Birkenstocks with my three-quarter cut-off combat pants? Or maybe the cammo thongs show off a bit more of the Portsea tan? Nah... can't mix combat and cammo... better stick with the sandals. And my white Fred Perry polo. Is that gonna clash with your outfit, babe? You're wearing the black Sass n Bide slouch shorts, yeah?



But don't let the cool kids scare you off. This is breakfast paradise. So many good options your head will spin. And we're talking some serious Linda Blair action.

I'll start with what we had. My Baked Bean Brekky came with arguably the best bread I've ever had: two thick slices of warm, soft, pumpkin and polenta bread, topped with a poached egg. On the side was a tasty serve of the house baked beans, and a generous pile of spinach sauteed in butter. Delicious.

We also tried the BBB, aka Bikini Blowout Benedict. A creative Benedict mutation, it was served on bagel toast (which we switched for sourdough multi-grain) with a layer of avocado and crispy bacon. Very good poached eggs and a thick blanket of hollandaise made this another excellent combo.

As for the rest, I don't know where to begin. Here's just a sample: French toast or pancakes with fresh banana, strawberries, pistachio ricotta and maple syrup; brekky bruschetta of scrambled eggs, smoked salmon, spinach and pesto sprinkled with pine nuts; roasted field mushrooms topped with a fresh rocket, goats cheese and roasted tomato salad, drizzled with an olive tapenade and lemon dressing; egg & bacon sandwich with hollandaise and rocket on toasted pide. And on and on it goes.

Not only is the food excellent (and cheap), but the venue is buzzing off the charts. A long skinny layout, the place has a tight combination of small-medium tables snaking past the coffee bar and kitchen, and a dog-friendly courtyard out the back. Skylights running the length of the building create a light, upbeat feel. Good tunes on the CD player too.

18/20 "mmm... pumpkin and polenta bread"



Eggs & Bacon $10.50 BB100 +5%