Saturday, March 19, 2005

Joe's Brasserie, Fulham

Today, on the first warm London Saturday of 2005, we dodged through crowds of mad dogs, Englishmen and Chelsea fans to grab brunch at Joe's Brasserie, 130 Wandsworth Bridge Road, Fulham, Tel +44 20 7731 7835. Official Joe's propaganda boasts of "superb eggs benedict". Yeah, and Camilla Parker-Bowles is a spunk.

A more accurate piece of marketing fluff would read something like this... "Come and try Joe's unique modern-British-classic-French-fusion cuisine, including our signature brunch dish, Eggs Benedict Brulee."

Yes, for some strange reason, someone had taken a blow-torch the top of the Eggs Benedict, adding an interesting brownish-yellow skin/crust. Unfortunately, they forgot to aim the blow-torch in the direction of the muffins, which were pretty much soft and raw under their thick blanket of separating Hollandaise. Not good. I really hate raw muffins.

I can only guess that the Eggs Florentine (spinach) and Eggs Royale (smoked salmon), were about the same as the Benedict, ie, below average. And from what I could see, the full English breakfast was equally mediocre.

Sadly, the service was a perfect match for the food. My spicy tomato juice (aka Virgin Mary) was initially delivered sans spice. Then, after returning with a bottle of bitters, our waitress eventually tracked down some industrial sized bottles of tabasco and worcestershire, which she proceeded to up-end into the glass of tomato juice, taking it from one extreme to the other. Later, about 10 seconds after our eggs had landed on the table, she asked if we'd like to move to another table. My initial reaction was stunned disbelief that anyone could ask such a stupid question. But despite my what-drugs-are-you-on stare, she stood her ground awaiting an answer... OK, yes, we would mind... we're staying here, where you just delivered our eggs... but thanks for the offer.

About the only good news was the price (less than 10 quid for eggs and a coffee), which, by London standards was not a total rip-off.

8/20 "Benedict Brulee, anyone?"

Also reviewed for