The Essoign Club, Melbourne

Only a club for barristers and judges could come up with a rule that anyone caught answering their mobile phone in the restaurant must buy each adjoining table a bottle of wine. Unfortunately for me, nobody breached this rule during my breakfast at The Essoign, Level 1, 205 William Street, Melbourne, Tel +61 3 9225 6748. I would have quite enjoyed a nice Bourgogne for breakfast. Beats getting hit on the head with a bottle of Pinot Grigio.



It being a week day, I opted for the "McBarrister", one of the lighter and more amusing items on the menu. A parody of the Bacon & Egg McMuffin, only superior in every way. Fresh fluffy muffins. Tasty bacon. Fried egg. And a melting slice of tasty cheese. Simple but good.

My barrister host talked up the "Trial Breakfast", but this wasn't mere puffery. The eggs were poached just right, and the bacon, bangers and toast looked well above average. Very good coffee, too.



The main problem with The Essoign is that you can't just rock up and order some eggs. There are rules, you see. You must be a member, or you must be with a member (and to be a member you must be a member of the Bar). But if you have the misfortune to be a "current litigant" (ie, someone dragging or being dragged by another through court) then you can't go at all.

14/20 "members only"