Conservatory at Crown, Southbank

Lucky I'm not a high roller. Because fake hollandaise, underpoached eggs and fresh-from-the-freezer hash browns is no way to spend your winnings after a big night at the tables. As eggs benedict goes, this was an absolute disgrace. I expected much better from the Conservatory, Crown Towers, Level 1, Southbank, Tel +61 3 9292 6895. Apparently the beef congee with ginger, spring onion and Chinese doughnuts was much better.



I can't begin to describe how much I hate fake hollandaise. This one had a nasty skin forming on it, too. Bonus. It's like someone sqeezed the atherosclerotic plaque from a cadaver and bottled it. Hollandaise may well end up lining the inner walls of your arteries. But it should taste nice on the way down.

To make matters worse, they served a surprise side of rock hard seared tomato. Ignoring for one moment that I think (and this is a strictly personal view, I admit) tomato should be well and truly cooked (as in soft, rich and mushy) or completely fresh and raw (as in a salad), what the hell is a tomato doing on a plate of eggs benedict? It doesn't belong. I didn't order it. I won't eat it. What next? Tomato garnish on a slice of chocolate cake?

One thing I will say about Crown... it's very spiffy. Fancy silverware. High ceilings. Excellent views across the river to the city. Maybe if you avoid the benedict and go the buffet it's worth a visit?

9/20 "a world of disappointment"