Vue de Monde, Melbourne

They served eggs, so I'm treating it as a late breakfast. And without doubt the most expensive breakfast I'm ever likely to have. Then again, I don't normally have seven courses, matched with seven wines, and water harvested from a Tasmanian cloud. There's nothing normal about a meal at Vue de Monde, 430 Little Collins Street, Melbourne, +61 3 9691 3888.



The eggs, for example, were salty little fish eggs, served atop a hens egg with some lobster mousse hidden inside. The only thing missing was toast soldiers.



The coolest dish was a stripy little terrine with layers of pate de foie gras, rabbit rillettes, carrot, minced ham and something green. It was, as our waiter noted, a very Paul Smith look.



The waiters (and waitresses) are all very professional. Like a good stalker, they're never far away, and their knowledge of the food and wine is scary. It was explained to me, for example, that the Tasmanian cloud water I was drinking was only harvested when the atmospheric particle count was below a certain level. Seriously.



If there was one disappointment, it was the "cheese course" which was actually a cheese square topped with a few slivers of fresh fig. It was a very nice cheese square. Gruyere, to be precise. But it was just a cheese square. I felt like Mr Pitt, sitting there, eating a cheese square with my Laguiole knife and fork.

Otherwise, we had a delicious, cheesy, brown mushroom risotto, smothered in black truffle shavings (not sure what all the fuss is about with truffles); some strips of wagyu beef poached in a clear soup with a few trimmings like spinach mousse and deep fried bone marrow (good, not great); a lobster and witlof salad (probably my favorite); and a self-saucing chocolate pudding (I've had better).